I've decided to put off my porn editorial for a more serious and selfish topic...me.

It's been a while what with running out of shit to say but one of the most things that really scares the fuck out of me is sometimes this feeling of dis-connection from my life.

Note this doesn't meant that I'm disconnnected from reality, I'm happy that I'm very grounded in reality, at least mine. But the fact is for the past 4 years of my life I been having this feeling that I ain't myself.

It's like I'm a seperated or even cut off from the rest of my life. I know that I have a past but I don't really feel it's really connected. I know that I have a family but I almost could think of them as adults I know, not flesh and blood I love. It's like I'm a thing, just existing for the sake fo existing.

This doesn't exactly put great fear into my heart, becasue the only fear that I have actually going so far as to lose myself into that feeling forever. In other words I feel devoid of any connection to anyone I know. I think this might be the feeling that psychopaths have when they kill someone or nymphomaniacs have when they just start fucking people behind their lover's back.

Oh yeah I like pie